| A woman in a white coat walked into the room
and flipped on the
fluorescent lights, jarring my wife awake.
Bethany had been asleep for
about half an hour—the longest nap she had
managed all day.
Though the doctor had ordered her to get
plenty of sleep, nurses
kept coming in every few minutes to take her
temperature and blood
pressure.
The day before, we were invited to lunch at a
Thai restaurant. When
we returned home, Bethany was bothered by a
cramp in her side.
Blaming the food, she laid down in bed. But
after four hours of
increasing pain, we left for the emergency
room, thinking that it might
be appendicitis. We were right, and after a few
hours her appendix
was removed with no complications (other
than some nausea, which,
when combined with Thai food, is especially
unpleasant).
All this would have been quite routine, except
that Bethany was 15
weeks pregnant. As it turned out, the timing
was good: a younger,
less-established baby might be at risk for
miscarriage, while an
older, larger baby would make it hard to get at
the appendix. Our
baby’s heartbeat was monitored both before
and after surgery, and
rather than putting Bethany to sleep, a local
anesthetic was used.
The one redeeming part of this experience
came before the
surgery, when Bethany’s appendix was
examined by ultrasound
and we were able to see our baby cruising
around his amniotic
home. (I say "his"—we asked the technician
not to tell us, but it
looked like a he to us.)
We were amazed at our baby’s development
at only four months
of age, when Bethany was hardly "showing" at
all and could feel
none of his movements. There on the
ultrasound screen we could
see clearly his head and skull, spine and ribs,
arms and legs, hands
and feet. Even a tiny heart was beating—at a
rate of 160, to be
exact. We watched in wonder as he kicked,
fluttered, and twirled
about, quite oblivious to his mother’s
condition.
For new fathers, especially, it’s difficult to
fathom that inside your wife
is a whole little person waiting to be
introduced to the world. The
ultrasound technician printed out several
photos for us to keep, and
later — as I sat in an empty waiting room at 2
a.m. taking advantage
of the free cappuccino machine — I looked at
the photos and
wondered how the little guy was doing about
now. In one picture, his
mouth was open and it looked like he was
trying to say something.
Above his head, the technician had typed
"Hello!"
* * *
It was now the evening after surgery, and
Bethany needed rest
more than anything. There were two television
sets in every room,
and Bethany’s roommate watched talk shows
all day. While she
struggled to sleep, Jerry Springer’s guests
screamed at each other.
By midnight, after Jay Leno’s monologue, the
television was finally
turned off. Bethany at last fell asleep. I sank
into my chair, next to her
bed, and closed my eyes.
Then the lights came on. Bethany squinted
under the glare, looking
disoriented. The doctor stood over her,
shuffling through some
papers on a clipboard. "How are you feeling
tonight?"
"Tired," Bethany answered. I wished the doctor
could take a hint and
leave us in peace.
The woman announced that she was an
obstetrician. After reviewing
Bethany’s history and asking a few questions,
she scribbled
something down on her clipboard and stated
that she was ordering a
routine test for tomorrow morning.
"What kind of test?" Bethany asked, still half
asleep.
"An Alpha-Feto Protein screen," she explained.
We asked what it
would test for, and why we should have it
now, rather than later in the
pregnancy during a visit with our own doctor.
"Well, it can tell you if the fetus has neural-tube
defects, Down
Syndrome, or if the brain is not complete.
Then, if something is
wrong with the fetus, you can decide to
terminate the pregnancy
while it is still a safe, legal time to do so."
I looked at Bethany — she appeared to be as
uncomfortable as I
was. This was a Christian hospital, affiliated
with an evangelical
denomination. Being told that we might want
to abort our child was
the last thing we expected, or wanted to argue
about under the
circumstances. I tried to deflect the question.
"We’ve talked about the
different tests available with our own doctor,
and we aren’t going to
have that one."
"Now is the ideal time. If you wait until you are
further along, it might
be too late," she continued coldly. "The
hospital strongly
recommends the test, because parents might
hold us liable if they
have a disabled child. They will ask, ‘Why
didn’t you warn us?’"
"But we’re not going to have an abortion —
under any circumstance.
It wouldn’t matter what disabilities our baby
had. We’re not going to
have the test."
"Well, I can’t force you to have any test if you
don’t want it," the
doctor shot back, and left as quickly as she
had come. Bethany
started to cry.
* * *
My tears came later, after Bethany had fallen
back asleep, when I
picked up the ultrasound photos again. In one,
nearly every bone in
his arm and hand was strikingly visible. He
seemed to be waving for
the camera—shamelessly soaking up the
limelight even at such a
young age. "Hello!"
I wished the doctor were there, so I could ask
her, what is this a
picture of?
Even science alone verifies that it is a human
being. At the moment
of conception, sperm and egg unite to form
something entirely
different — a genetically-complete,
self-determining organism,
entirely unique and distinct from its parents.
The mere presence of
that newly conceived baby — far too small to
be seen except
through a high-powered microscope — is
enough to trigger a
complete readjustment of his mother’s
hormone levels, preparing
her to nurture the new life growing inside her
womb. Left to normal
biological processes, this organism will
develop continuously from
zygote, to fetus, to infant, to toddler, to
teenager, and so on, with no
substantial change to its being.
But science cannot tell us whether this human
being has any intrinsic
value. If we aren’t happy with the baby we’ve
conceived, if a test
shows that there’s "something wrong" with
him, if he’s going to have
a low IQ, if he has a terminal defect and will
die within a few years
anyway — wouldn’t it be better to "terminate
the pregnancy"?
The Bible tells us that man is created in the
image and likeness of
God. This is not a scientific statement, but a
poetic one. The image
of God cannot be observed under a
microscope or detected by an
ultrasound scan — but it can be expressed in
a poem.
In a hymn to the Creator, the psalmist writes:
Thou didst form my inward
parts;
Thou didst weave me in my mother’s
womb.
I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and
wonderfully
made....
(Psalm 139: 13–14)
If this poetry can be believed, each human
person is a masterpiece
of God’s craftsmanship. Life is a gift to be
received joyfully; it is not a
creation of man, and we have no right to
destroy it.
If each person we encounter bears the divine
image, none should
be exploited or used. Each of us —
irrespective of size, age, or
intelligence — is unique, irreplaceable, and
invaluable. The only
response to a human person is love.
If we are each created in the image of God,
whatever we do to
another person, we ultimately do to God
himself. Jesus said, "Truly I
say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of
these brothers of
mine, even the least of them, you did it to me"
(Matthew 25:40).
Jesus made it clear that this is especially true
of children. "And He
called a child to Himself and set him before
them, and said, ‘Truly I
say to you, . . . whoever receives one such
child in My name
receives Me’" (Matthew 18:2, 5).
* * *
The Apostle Paul writes that faith is "the
assurance of things hoped
for, the evidence of things not seen." But faith
is not only about
things unseen. There is another kind of
faith—the faith to see, hear,
and understand what is right in front of our
noses.
For the heart of this people has
become dull,
And with their ears they scarcely hear,
And they have closed their eyes;
Lest they should see with their eyes,
And hear with their ears,
And understand with their heart and
return,
And I should heal them.
(Matthew 13:15)
To see the world around us for what it truly is,
we must open our
eyes — not just the literal eyes of our heads,
but the poetic eyes of
our hearts. To be healed is to be made whole.
Head and heart,
science and poetry, reason and faith — these
are not supposed to
be opposites, but complementary ways of
seeing reality. They are
reconciled in the unity of truth.
Just past 1 a.m., tired but unable to sleep, I
tried my best to curl up
comfortably on a small plastic chair next to
Bethany’s hospital bed.
Looking again at my baby’s ultrasound
pictures, I tried to picture
clearly in my mind’s eye what was so roughly
suggested in the
grainy black and white photos. I saw the
delicate tapestry of flesh
and blood and bone, woven together in the
secret depths of my
wife’s body. I saw an irreplaceable person,
never to be repeated
again on this earth. I saw an embodied soul
who will live forever, and
for whom I am eternally responsible. I saw the
visible image of the
invisible God.
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