|
I had expected a quiet evening with a book. After a long
day of work, I found a pub with outdoor tables not far from the
Bodleian Library, and settled in with Thomas Hardy's Jude
the Obscure.
For months I had been looking forward to reading this
novel, while doing some summer study and work in Oxford. Set
in 19th century Oxfordshire, it is a portrait of the life and times
of Jude the stonecarver. More deeply it is a study in the
meaning of education, which on a more theoretical level was
the direction of my study.
But my quiet was interrupted with the question, "What are
you reading?" I looked up and saw a young, earnest face. He
introduced himself as a second-generation Keble College
student; though Indian, he had grown up in Rome. I told him
that I was reading about another young man who had come to
the city of steeples and spires with high hopes of being a
scholar at Oxford. Though Jude had diligently prepared himself
through a regimen of self-disciplined study — learning
Greek and Latin and reading all the required texts — he
was not able to get in because he had neither connections nor
money. And we talked for some time about the intellectual
snobbery which had so defeated the obscure Jude.
"What are you studying at Keble?" I asked. Having lived my
life among students it was obvious within sentences that this
young man was unusually articulate. He told me of his studies
in political theory, and I asked more questions. The longer we
talked, the more ironic our conversation seemed. I was talking
about a book which explored the question, "What's the point of
education?" with a student who seemed remarkably insensitive
to the responsibility of knowledge. His own studies were
extremely self-oriented, with no concern for people —
political theory, with no apparent concern for the polis. In the
most selfish way, he saw his education as a passport to
privilege.
I pressed the young student, hoping — as Hamlet
taught, that "the play's the thing to catch the conscience of the
king" — to tell enough of Jude's story to help him see
himself more truthfully. We parried back-and-forth for a long
time, but throughout he seemed as hard-hearted as he was
articulate. I shook my head sadly as I watched him walk away,
knowing that he had little if any sense of the stewardship of
his gifts in service to the world.
On the other hand. Just a couple months ago I was again in
Oxford, and met another young man studying political theory
who was also of Indian descent. Unlike the first student, this
one was almost done with his education. Having gone through
Harvard for his B.A. and Ph.D., he was completing a year of
post-graduate study in Oxford. We went off for lunch together
and talked for a long time about his studies and his hopes and
dreams for the future — in Oxford's oldest pub, a
venerable institution serving students since the 13th
century.
In the back-and-forth of conversation we talked about
what we were reading. He had come to finish out his graduate
study, wanting to "think theologically" about a very
contemporary and complex political question, and knew that
some of the best people in the world were on the Oxford
faculty. I had been reading the works of Michael Polanyi, the
scientist and philosopher whose analysis of modern ways of
knowing has been so transformational, as we move into of what
many are calling "the post-modern" era, in these last years of
the 20th century. Polanyi's critique of the Enlightenment
epistemology was that, fundamentally, it led to detachment and
disengagement, i.e., I can know but not care. We wondered
together about a way of knowing, a way of learning, that might
be inextricably linked with the notion of responsibility.
As we parted I found myself thinking a lot about what had
passed between us. I don't know that I have ever met a more
graceful young man; that is, a young man so full of grace. Not
only was that evident in his personal qualities, showing a
remarkable thoughtfulness and kindness to all. But beyond that,
it was his "full of grace" vision for his academic labor itself that
impressed me even more. The categories and questions that he
used to make sense of his studies were deeply and distinctively
marked by the gospel of the kingdom.
The longer we talked the more impressed I was with the
contrast in conversations between these two unusually
intelligent Indian students studying politics at Oxford. If the
first student was marked by a hard-hearted concern for him
and him alone, the second was marked by a remarkable care
for "the least of these," to remember the words of Jesus. If the
one was able to study the "polis " with no evident concern for
people, the other had forged a worldview that had people made
in the image of God at its very heart. If the one saw his
education as simply and straightforwardly a passport to
privilege, the other saw his life and learning in stewardship to
God and in service to the world. To put it starkly, it was the
difference between selfishness and selflessness.
How is that in studying the same "stuff" two students could
come to such different conclusions about its meaning? To
press the question even a bit more deeply: how did the second
student learn to love what God loves, and to see that concern
as the very core of his studies — even in the very
secularly spirited settings of Harvard and Oxford?
These questions are rooted in the biblical reality that
teaches what we see and hear is most profoundly affected by
the nature and direction of our hearts. In the Hebrew worldview,
which explicitly frames the Old Testament and implicitly the
New, the heart is the center of all that we are as human beings.
In it we are most truthfully understood, and out of it we are
most clearly known. For this reason the Proverbs put it plainly:
"Lay hold of my words with all your heart" (4:4), and "Above all
else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (4:23).
Jesus is just as straightforward: "For out of the overflow of the
heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34), and "But the things
that come out of the mouth come from the heart" (Matthew
15:18). And He pictures this biblical truth for us in His response
to the widow of Nain whose only son had died: "When the Lord
saw her, His heart went out to her and He said, 'Don't cry.' The
He went up and touched the coffin, and those carrying it stood
still. He said, 'Young man, I say to you get up!'" (Luke 7: 13-
14). We see and hear out of our hearts, and so seeing and
hearing are moral acts and result in moral action.
This is true for every son of Adam and daughter of Eve, in
every culture and every century. And so we need to understand
that these two students' worldviews and ways of life are
different — because of their hearts. They see and hear
the world differently — because of their hearts. They
make sense of the world and of their place in it differently
— because of their hearts.
How then do we grow our hearts so that we see and hear
as we ought? The word "ought" is a tip-off to a dilemma that
must be understood, if we are ever to learn to love what God
loves. In the moral life, whatever one's heart commitment, it is
all too easy to do what one ought to do simply because one
ought to do it. At least for a while. Most of the time, that
motivation wears down and out. And then what? In a life where
one's moral vision has been transformed by the amazing grace
of God, it is possible for duty to grow into desire.
Inch by inch and day by our desires are transformed, so
that we increasingly long for what is real and true and right; in
sum, for God himself. No longer is self at the center of the
cosmos, and so no longer is it possible to see one's education
as a passport to privilege. Rather — and this is all by
great grace — we start to see that history begins and
ends with God, and that its unfolding in our own times and
places only makes sense if He is there. And then slowly, slowly,
we come to understand that it is only as our deepest
commitments and concerns are transformed — becoming
holy as He himself is holy — that we become fully
human, true sons and daughters of the second Adam, Jesus,
who was, is, and ever shall be God Incarnate.
It is as we draw near to this God in worship and service
that we come to know Him and to love Him, and then, choice
by choice, year after year, we begin to know what His
commitments and concerns are — and to love them
because we love Him. Augustine's insight echoes through the
centuries, probing the deep place where belief and behavior are
formed. "For when there is a question as to whether a man is
good, one does not ask what he believes ... but what he
loves."
What do you love? and what are you learning to love? For
Christian students, this movement from head to heart, from
doctrine to discipleship, is what the college years are all about.
In the reading and reflection upon texts, in the choice and
deepening of friendships, in the listening to music and
watching of films, in the decisions about semester breaks and
summer vacations, in the forming of vocational visions —
in and through it all, it is nothing more or less than learning to
love what God loves.
Two very bright students, studying the same "stuff" in the
same place, and yet ... and yet, one is learning to love what
God loves. In a word, it is a matter of the heart. That is the
difference, and the difference it makes is all the difference in
the world.
|