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As I was leaving the student fellowship meeting, Don ran
up from behind and matched his step to mine. "Hi, Professor
Theophilus," he said. "Headed across campus?"
"All the way. You too?"
"Yeah, I thought I'd catch a bite at Edge of Night." That
was an eating hangout on the western edge of the Post-
Everything State University campus; we were on the east. "Your
talk was right on the nose."
"Thanks; I was afraid that the topic of 'Relationships' might
be too big."
"No, it was fine. I just wish I'd heard that talk last
year."
"Relationship problems of your own, eh?"
"You said it."
"Best friend? Girl friend? Parents?"
"Roommate. Actually housemate."
"How bad?"
"Bad."
When I chuckled, Don objected. "Don't tell me
you think it's funny, Professor T. It's bad enough
that everyone else thinks so."
"It was a sympathetic chuckle," I said. "I was only amused
by your answer. Not 'Very bad.' Not 'Extremely bad.' Just 'Bad.'
That says it all."
He sighed. "I guess it does."
"How did the trouble begin?"
"That's the funny thing. See, we got along great before we
moved in together."
"Naturally," I replied. "If you hadn't got along so well, you
wouldn't have had the idea."
"I guess not. It never occurred to either one of us that
there might be anything more to living together than sharing
rent."
"You didn't work out ground rules, like the ones I
discussed in my talk?"
"I never even thought of doing anything like that. But if I
had, I would have told myself that it wasn't necessary."
"Why?"
"You know," he said. "We shared the same values and all
that."
"Was your housemate a Christian?"
"Well, no."
"Then what made you think he shared your values?"
"He'd never been in trouble or anything. He didn't try to get
me in trouble. He didn't get drunk or do drugs. He didn't sleep
with his girlfriend. I never even saw him park in a No Parking
zone."
"You see, Don" — I hesitated — "there's more
to sharing values than sharing the same list of 'don'ts.'"
"I know that now," he answered. "But I didn't
then. It's like you said in your talk. If a person doesn't live for
anything, then his good habits are just good habits. He doesn't
have any reason not to change them for worse ones."
"And did he?"
"Did he what?"
"Change them for worse ones."
"Man, did he ever. First his friends started hanging around
all the time and eating all our food. They didn't get along with
my friends, so pretty soon my friends got fed up and stopped
coming around.
"Did you say anything to your housemate?"
"No. I couldn't see myself telling him to get new friends
just to please me — do you know what I mean?"
"I do. Then what happened?"
"Then they all began to change."
"How so?"
"First in their conversation. It was like — I don't
know how to explain. I noticed the effect on me before I
realized what was causing it. See, when I was with them, I
found it harder and harder to be myself."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Christianity was never mentioned, but somehow the
atmosphere changed from being not Christian to being
anti-Christian. And then there was this
suction."
"Suction?"
"Yes, I was getting pulled. I found myself
saying things I didn't believe, just to be able to converse. It was
weird."
"So what did you do?"
"I started spending less and less time at the house."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I did my studying at the library, and came home
just to wash and sleep."
"So control of the situation passed more and more to your
housemate."
"I guess it did."
"Then what?"
"My housemate and his friends started leaving things
everywhere. Like bottles. I never knew just a few guys could
pack away so much beer."
"I thought you said he didn't drink."
"Well, he started. And another thing. He started resenting it
when I went to Fellowship or to Church. Sunday mornings he'd
unplug my alarm clock. When I overslept and got angry, he'd
think it was a funny joke."
"That must be frustrating," I said.
"Not any more. That's all stopped. Now he's got a better
amusement."
"A better one?"
"Uh huh. About a month ago his girl friend started hanging
around even more than his friends. Then another change began
to happen. The more she came around, the less his friends did.
But she was there all day — and pretty soon, all night,
too."
"Yes, I thought that might be part of it. Both you and your
housemate started out chaste, but as a Christian, you have
reasons to stay that way that he hasn't — and you also
have help that isn't available to him."
"But I still haven't told you the worst, Professor T."
"What's that?" I asked.
"She's starting to come on to me. At least I think she is. I
don't know if it's a joke, or what.
"Doesn't your housemate object?"
"He doesn't know! See, she hangs around the house even
more than he does now. It's like she doesn't have a life.
Sometimes I come home late, and he's not there, but she is.
And I'm tired, but I'm afraid — this is so ridiculous
— I'm afraid to —"
"To go to bed?"
"Right! I'm afraid I might wake up with her in
it."
"I can see why some of your friends might find the
situation amusing."
"But it's not! I can't live like this!" he cried.
"No, you can't," I sympathized.
"Prof, how can I fix this situation?"
We walked the next fifty feet in silence.
"Did you hear me, Professor Theophilus?" Don finally
asked.
"Yes, Don, I was thinking about your question," I told him.
"But I don't think there is anything you can do."
"Not anything? But it isn't fair!"
"No, not at all."
"I pay my half of the rent, I pull my weight, I do my share
— am I supposed to just accept the situation and live in
it?"
I glanced at his face. "Haven't you already addressed
whether you can live in it?"
"I said I couldn't."
"And you were right."
"But if I can't live in it, and I can't change it —"
"Then there's only one other alternative."
"To lose my share of the deposit money and move out?
"
I laughed. "If you lose only money, Don, you'll have done
well." He looked puzzled for a moment, then his face reddened
slightly and he laughed too. I went on. "Do you have a friend
you can stay with for the next few nights, while you look for a
new place?"
"Uh — yes, probably — I'll call around," he
said. "But if I find a new house and a new housemate, won't I
just wind up in the same mess as with the old one?"
"Why should you assume that?" I said. "Not unless you
make the same mistakes. What should you do differently this
time?"
"I guess I need to find someone who doesn't just avoid the
things I avoid, but who also lives for what I live for."
"Then what?"
"Isn't that enough?"
I chuckled again. "If my talk on 'relationships' is really so
forgettable, it must have been poorer than you thought. Doesn't
the expression 'ground rules' ring a bell?"
"Sure. But do I need them even with another Christian?
"
"Absolutely. Christians can drive each other crazy too. A
Christian is a fallen soul, under new management, and
undergoing repairs. But while the repairs are going on, the air
is full of dust and there are nails all over the floor. By all
means find a housemate who shares your faith, but reach some
understandings with him about all the practical aspects of living
together too."
During our talk we had walked all the way from the east
side of campus to the west, and were approaching Edge of
Night. For the last two blocks Don was silent. At the door of the
hangout, just as I was about to turn aside to pick up my car
from the faculty parking lot and go home, he spoke again.
"Professor Theophilus, there's something else I wonder if I
could talk about with you. Could I get you a cup of coffee or
something?"
I glanced at my watch, then his face. He looked even more
uneasy than he had when he was telling the tale of his troubles
with his housemate. "Yes, I have time for a cup. Nobody's
expecting me for a little while. What's it about?"
"I'll explain after we've found a place to sit down. It's just
that when my housemate's girl friend was coming on to me
— I didn't give in, but — let's say it raised some
questions in my mind."
I passed my hand over my face. "Oh, is that
all?" I grinned. "I'm sure we can deal with that in five minutes."
Don relaxed, and we entered the Edge of Night.
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