There are eight days until my wedding day (thank you, countdown apps!). As much as this self-proclaimed perfectionist likes planning, I’ve learned wedding planning is not my thing. All the decision-making and details are making me re-evaluate having “The Wedding Planner” as my second-favorite romcom of all time.
Anyway, while planning my own Big Day has convinced me never to do it again, I have in the process learned six steps to make wedding planning much less stressful than it needs to be.
1. Pre-plan.
Pre-planning is deciding on the basic vision for your wedding. Will the wedding be big or small? Indoors or outdoors? What will the wedding colors be? Some of you started this planning in middle school (you know who you are). Once you’re engaged, your vision will adjust and reflect your fiancé’s or fiancée’s preferences as well.
While pre-planning, you don’t need to get into the nitty-gritty details like where the wedding venue will be. This step is for creating a basic idea of what you want for your wedding so when it’s time to pick a budget, venue, flowers and more, you already know what you’re looking for.
2. Seek advice (or straight-up hire a wedding planner).
If you choose not to hire a wedding planner, seek advice from a recently-married couple or other couples who are wedding planning alongside you. Find out where the couple got their cake, who their caterers were, who they used as a DJ. Ask them if there is anything about wedding planning that surprised them, or if they forgot to do something important — and how they handled the situation.
Early in my wedding planning I asked an engaged coworker for lots of recommendations that I ended up using for my own wedding. If you don’t know anyone to seek advice from, look online.
3. Delegate tasks.
You can’t do everything by yourself, even if you think you can. This is why delegating tasks is so important.
Pretty early on in my wedding planning, I delegated tasks for myself to do, for my fiancé to do, for my mom to do, and for my mother-in-law to do. Having four people tackle different assignments (and take ownership of them) made crossing items off my to-do list so much easier and quicker.
4. Ask for help.
Though I delegated tasks early on, I still found myself needing help throughout the planning process. To be honest, sometimes I just wanted help due to “planning fatigue.”
Thankfully, I already had many friends (like my matron of honor) asking if they could help. At first, I kept telling them, “No, I’m good. I got this.” But I eventually decided it would be nice to have a few extra hands helping me out, so I went back to those gracious friends and asked if they could take on a task or two.
People (generally) love to help. It makes them feel part of your life and your special day. Give them a chance to step in and take some of your burden from you; it’s a win-win you won’t regret.
5. Stand strong.
I’m sure you’ve heard stories, seen a movie, or watched reality TV shows (cough, cough — “Bridezillas”) where there’s wedding drama. As much as I want to believe (and still do believe) that my wedding season will be drama-free, I’ve learned that having absolutely no disagreements is impossible.
I got into a two-day disagreement with a close family member over inviting someone to my wedding. It was emotional and annoying, but not the end of the world. I listened and considered my family member’s point of view, but in the end I stood strong, and eventually the matter was settled.
If disagreements happen during wedding planning (or even on the day of the wedding), it’s OK. Stand strong. Make sure you and your fiancé/fiancée have each other’s back and are presenting a united front. Assume that the motives of your friend or family member are well-intentioned, but hold your ground if you disagree with their suggestion.
6. Have fun!
For some people, wedding planning is fun; they have a great time throughout the process. But as I said in my introduction, that’s not me. I do not like event planning in the least.
Unfortunately, my resentment of wedding planning led me to not have fun at first. I didn’t want to taste cake flavors or search for wedding dresses. I just wanted to snap my fingers and have everything done.
However, the Holy Spirit — through my mom — convicted me of my negative attitude. I recognized the truth of what the Holy Spirit was telling me and have done my best to enjoy the journey.
I trust the above six steps will provide structure and encouragement as you plan your wedding. As much as I may have rolled my eyes along the way, I’ve also smiled, knowing that at the end of this journey I’ll be married to the love of my life.
Whether you love or loathe wedding planning, remember that marriage is a gift from God. Wedding planning is simply preparation for that wonderful gift.
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